Canvey Island

 26th January 2013

Canvey Island 3 v Harrow Borough 0 

Ryman Premier League
Gate: £10
Atten: 304 
Food Drink: Coffee £1 Choc bar 80p 
Pre Match Meal: I had a Mega No 1 - with extra Bubble ! at the Blue Cafe in Town. 
Ground: A lovely ground situated just yards from the coast. Very friendly and colourful. It was simply wonderful.8/10
Match Enjoyment:  not the best first half, but the second was most enjoyable with some cracking goals. The boys in yellow fully deserved the win.7/10

 View all photos from Canvey Island (52) 
 Match Report from Club Website

The Signs were there !

 Even for a ground hopper the best plans can be ruined by the weather. If truth be told a trip to the Essex coast was not my first choice today but in a twist of fate, that's where i ended up and i was very happy i did, because i had a great day in this unique little part of England.The Dutch are famous in these parts as well.  Not only did they invade a few times, sailing their armada up the Thames and occasionally coming ashore on the party islands of Grain, Sheppey and Canvey but they also helped build the original sea defences. The townsfolk were so impressed they adopted all things Dutch except for Schteeeve Maclaren ! aka the wally with the brolly !
The Mega No1 - what a beauty !

The words 'straight forward' and 'Dartford Tunnel' are not normally used in the same sentence but today they most definately were which helped Linda no end and it made for a pleasant journey in the winter sunshine. Listening to radio 5live and all the traffic and snow problems in the north made our journey even more fun. We arrived in beautiful warm sunshine and in plenty of time for our pre match meal at the Blue Cafe in the town. Now today i was set a challenge by ordering a Mega No 1with extra bubble , just the name had provoked my curiosity. After i polished of that 'bad boy' it was time to set off for the ground albeit with a struggle trying to stomach a Mega No1 !.
The prospects of a good day out were already in progress so i had to to go to the positively named, Prospects Stadium home of Canvey Island FC

Home is where the heart is !
The Canvey Monster ?
The ground is situated literally yards from the Thames Esturay with the North Sea a little further out and lying only just above sea level. When i was in the Blue Cafe i was told about the Canvey Island Monster, which is the name given to an unusual creature whose carcass washed up on the shores of the Island in the 1950's, so out of curiosity off i went down the sea shore whilst walking off my mega no 1 in search of this mythical beast !

 I must say that already at this early stage, The Staff who were on the turnstiles get my vote as 'Most friendly welcome' they were were excellent full of genuine smiles and stories until you mentioned the team Concord FC and then the conversation nose dived, never took off and came to a crash landing ! (if you pardon the pun !). As the chap on the gate admitted they were well and truly turned over by their fierce neighbours recently his head and voice visibly lowered in shame, but never the less to me quite amusing !.

 As you enter the ground you immediately notice the 'Sea Level' sign. I asked myself will Harrow Borough be 'out of their depth' today and could the locals even 'fathom' defeat ? only time will tell. As i walked round i noticed a memorial wall , dedicated to loyal and valued fans who had sadly passed away. What a lovely touch this was by the club. I was fortunate to get chatting to a lifelong fan Mickey who told me every story behind every plaque. The old boy had kept me enthralled for a long time and he was quite clearly as passionate about 'his team' as the people whom he was describing.

The first half was an average affair at best, with Harrow possibly having the better opportunities to score. Canvey had a genuine penalty appeal turned down for hand ball, this then lead to the most outrageous reaction i had ever seen from a home steward. He was so upset he cursed so loudly, kicked the railings, and yanked his dogs lead up so high that the little jack russell flew two feet into the air before landing on all fours- quite extraordinary !

Now the second was far better and on the hour the Canvey No9 hit a cracking goal , touch, turn, pivot, smack, top corner. What a corker ! then from there, Harrow's defences were broken and wave after wave of attacks from the Seasiders and two more goals followed. The Londoners were sunk with no life jacket.

As i was walking round and enjoying the surroundings and a cup of coffee and totally relaxed ,a local chap decked out in yellow and blue,started chatting, "what you wearing a West 'aam scarf for ?" I knew this was West Ham country so i did not give it much thought earlier that morning. "You wanna wear yellow" he continued and then out of nowhere he then started bombarding me with Essex Jokes, they were funny to begin with, only out of courtesy i chuckled at his punch line delivery. But when it reached twenty the hilarity began to erode.
The only Essex joke i remembered from the comedian was...  Paramedic attending an Essex girl lying in the road after a serious car crash "where you bleedin' from"? enquired the paramedic ...  "Romford" she replies
 It was like having my own stand up routine in front of me, but the problem was, i just wanted a peaceful day out and the chap would not stop in his comedic bombardment. He just did not realise that , I just wanted to wear the scarf and watch the game !

I'm still standing !



  1. Great write up, glad you enjoyed your day on the island!

  2. Glen, Thank you so much for your kind comments - much appreciated.
    I had a great day on the Island and will return for sure. Everyone at the club were so helpful and a good laugh. In fact i am so pleased my other game was called off ! Does that suggest that 'he up there' also lives on the island ?