Definition of a Groundhopper


Groundhopping
Groundhopping is the practice of visiting as many football grounds as possible. This, however is an oversimplified explanation. The majority of people who do this activity are known as groundhoppers and have either already been to the majority of decent grounds or have some perverse dislike of good quality football and stadiums. A consequence of this is that groundhoppers are more often than not found at non-league football grounds - the more obscure and difficult to get to the better.
The Ability to Boast
Groundhoppers are very fond of enquiring about the activities of fellow hoppers - commonly trying to out-do each other with tales of where they've been. 'Have you been to Bloxwich Rangers yet?' 'I've done all that league now including Dudley Amateurs' new ground'. Most hoppers actually compete with their fellow travellers and take pleasure only in having visited more grounds or more obscure grounds than each other. They sometimes travel in packs - sharing a car - but this is frowned upon by 'real' hoppers who only ever use public transport.
Groundhopper Equipment
Groundhoppers are easily identified by the equipment that they carry...
The Carrier Bag
Perhaps the most essential piece of equipment the groundhopper possesses is the carrier bag. This is usually a high grade bag with some 'posing' value such as a cross-channel ferry company or a bus company's name on it. The carrier bag is taken everywhere and the same one is used until it literally falls apart. It is an ideal receptacle for carrying other essential items...


Transport Timetables
Seldom is a groundhopper spotted without a myriad of public transport timetables, most of which are completely useless in the area which he finds himself. Even stranger than this is the chronic inability of most of them to actually read a timetable which results in them grouping together en route in an attempt to arrive in the correct place on time. Similarly, they all carry an A to Z atlas and none of them can read those either. Many a local person has been confronted by a dishevelled figure with a carrier bag on a Saturday afternoon asking how they can get to the football ground on the other side of town in two minutes flat.
The Notebook
An essential item is the notebook. These appear in a variety of styles and sizes depending on the individual 'hopper's' needs. Some only need to jot down where they've been, while others note the player's names, others write match reports and some have been known to draw scale diagrams of the ground they are visiting. The notebook results in a number of traditions the most significant being the need to enquire of other hoppers 'got the teams yet' and the subsequent comparison of notes and any other important information that can be passed on (1).
Essential Attire
One other piece of information required to grasp a basic understanding of groundhopping is the essential attire. Let us start with the feet which are always covered with a pair of old nylon socks and white trainers (2). Trousers are seldom jeans and often what can only be referred to as 'slacks', although this is a vague description because these articles have never been seen on sale anywhere. A football shirt is also required and must be one from the hopper's local non-league team or an obscure foreign team that nobody has ever heard of. An anorak is then worn - in all weather and finally one mustn't forget the personal radio (3) with which the hopper listens to the football results on Radio 5 which he claims not to care about.



(1) For example, 'I saw him play in an Isthmian Reserve league match last year for Crawley Dogwalkers FC but he went off after two minutes with a toe strain'.
(2) Supermarket brand, never a sportswear brand.
(3) Never a personal stereo.

16 comments:

  1. ...and thereby hangs the problem - is it the football ... or is it everything OTHER than the football ?

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  2. ...am not sure what you mean or what your point is ?

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  3. Very funny lighted hearted look at groundhopping.
    'everything other than the football' maybe some treat the hobby as like trainspotting.

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  4. Dear Onion Bag,

    I am trying to organise an away day for a group of 30 somethings to an interesting and atmospheric venue next season. Somewhere where there is a bit of character and a partizan crowd, and good catering and bar facilities. Also a location which might offer something in the way of further evening activities and entertainment. I was thinking probably coastal or country rather than urban. Having read all your blogs the choices seem limitless, but I wanted to know in your humble opinion which would be the best ground for us to visit?

    Cheers,

    Football fan

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  5. I have a few suggestions. Please send me your email address etc and i can answer in full to 7@llpa.co.uk

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  6. Not only funny but very very true........I see much of that in myself.

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    1. Thank you , we all have some of the above in us ! But it was written with tongue in cheek ;)

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    2. Excellent summary!
      Can you email me via the Morley RFC web site?
      Dennis

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    3. Dennis - I have sent you a message on the contact form via the Morley RFC website as per your request.
      I look forward to hearing from you.
      Kind Regards
      OB

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  7. Hello, I love your blog, I'm currently researching division one football grounds for a television show and your photographs are amazing reference material. Thank you! Do you have an email address I can contact you on about perhaps discussing the rights to using some of your photos on the set of the show for a fee of course. Thanks, Daisy

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    Replies
    1. Daisy , thank you for your enquiry. To discuss further please contact me at info@llpa.co.uk
      Please include more specifics.
      Many thanks
      OB

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  8. Hi, I am the programme editor for Corsham Town FC and we are hosting the first match of a Western League Ground Hop this Friday. With your permission I'd love to use your 'Definition of a Groundhopper' in the programme for the match, we will of course credit it to you. Let me know if its OK, thanks, Chris

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  9. Hi, I am the programme editor for Corsham Town FC and we are hosting the first match of a Western League Ground Hop this Friday. With your permission I'd love to use your 'Definition of a Groundhopper' in the programme for the match, we will of course credit it to you. Let me know if its OK, thanks, Chris

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    1. Chris, No problem what so ever. I really appreciate you asking.I am unable to attend your leagues hop , but hopefully your day will be a great success - good luck !
      OB

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  10. Prestatyn Town face a winding up order on the 28th November and face going out of existence.
    Potentially we only have 2 home games left:
    Sat 19 Nov v Holyhead Hotspur KO 14:30
    Sat 26 Nov v Flint Town United KO 14:30

    Please see ptfconline.co.uk for ways in which you can help

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    1. Rob, so sad to hear of the situation at Prestatyn Town. My visit earlier this season was an excellent one. Very friendly welcome by all, no egos , just humble and friendly. Not bad on the pitch also and promotion this season looks likely.I will check the clubs website to see if there is a way to help even from this far away.

      Good luck , fight the fight and stay humble.
      Kind regards
      OB

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